Here’s a new twist on the Nigerian bank scam email, this time tugging at one’s sympathy AND one’s desire to do something charitable:

Hello. My name is Mubaraq Ahmed, an Oil & Gas merchant in U.A.E. I’av been diagnosed with prostate and esophageal Cancer that was discovered very late due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have only about a few days to live according to medical experts; I need your help in distributing my funds to charities as I have no family.if you can help me you will take 20% out of the funds and give 80% to the local charities of your choice. If you can help respond back to me on my private email: mubaraq11@freemail.lt Regards, Mubaraq Ahmed

Of course, what’s stopping him from just giving the money directly, himself, perhaps in his own country, is beyond me. Will wonders never cease?

Share on Facebook

Yossi Mpesi wrote:
Hello,

My name is Yossi Mpesi, I am young boy of 16yrs old.  I lost my parents in different occassions and my only sister to the war in Congo where my father owned a diamond/gold mine. I am lucky that I was able to flee to this place here in Cote d’Ivoire by good grace my life. I am sure you are aware of the on going event in my congo due to the ethnic clash being experienced of this crisis situation. I am presently staying in a residence lodging apartment here in Cote d’Ivoire.

I would like to appeal to you confidentialy to assist me concerning my late father’s Fund which he deposited in a financial firm, he has the sum of nine million, two hundred and ten thousand Euro(Ђ9.210,000). I want to move out from here because of the my wicked stepmother who plotted with the rebels that killed my father and will stop at nothing to hunt my life except if i flee since my father own a diamond/gold mine.

So please i want to know you better. I am willing to offer you 921,000euro for your assistance after the successful transfer of this money for investment; I have plans to do investment in your country, like real estate, industrial production or any other lucrative investment you bring to my notice in your country.

If you are willing to help me please indicate in your next mail and let me know so that I can mail to you. Let me have your private telephone number & address so that i can communicate with you at any time for more details.

Thanks,

Yossi

Wow. Bummer. How can I help? — Henry

If he replies, I’ll keep you posted.

Share on Facebook

… this little beauty…

If you don’t read this and then say “Run OMG run!!! Oh MY GOD!!!!”, you’re an idiot.

Seriously.

Here goes the verbatim text as of this “disclaimer” — btw I frankly detect a certain Eastern European Mob lilt to the text but perhaps that’s just me (oh, and nota bene, the italics are mine lol):

BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site and newsletters:

The disclaimer is to be read and fully understood before using our site, or joining our newsletter email list.

Never invest into a stock discussed on this web site or the BestDamnPennyStocks.com newsletter unless you can afford to lose your entire investment.

Please consult with a certified financial advisor before making any investment decisions.

BestDamnPennyStocks.com and any affiliates and information providers make no implied or express warranties on the information provided. Please verify quotes with your investment manager before making investment decisions. This is not to be construed as a solicitation to buy or sell securities. As with any stock, the featured companies in the profiled on the BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site and/or newsletter involve a high degree of risk and volatility, and all investors should know that they may lose a portion or all of their investment if they decide to purchase any stock.

BestDamnPennyStocks.com makes no representations, warranties or guarantees as to the accuracy or completeness of the disclosure by the profiled companies and does not guarantee the topicality, correctness, completeness and quality of information and statements presented on BestDamnPennyStocks.com or in email alerts released by BestDamnPennyStocks.com. All information on featured companies is provided by the companies profiled, or is available from public sources and BestDamnPennyStocks.com. Any claims or statements should be deemed apocryphal. BestDamnPennyStocks.com corporate officers, nor any of its affiliates are not registered investment advisors or a broker dealers and do not recommend to buy, hold, or sell any securities. BestDamnPennyStocks.com simply provides a starting point for site members and viewers for which to compare their own thoughts to BestDamnPennyStocks.com corporate officers. The onus is on site members and viewers to complete their own due diligence. BestDamnPennyStocks.com members and viewers should always make their own financial decisions. The accuracy and completeness of the information within any report, newsletter or on the web site is only as reliable as the information that is provided to BestDamnPennyStocks.com in drafting the report. BestDamnPennyStocks.com does not verify the information, and makes no warranty that the information is accurate.

Visitors to BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site and readers of the BestDamnPennyStocks.com newsletters are cautioned that small and micro-cap stocks are high-risk investments and that SOME or ALL investment dollars CAN be LOST. We suggest you consult a professional investment advisor before purchasing any stock. All opinions expressed at the BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site are the opinions of BestDamnPennyStocks.com . All information concerning the companies is received directly from the companies profiled and/or outside interviews conducted by BestDamnPennyStocks.com . BestDamnPennyStocks.com . recommends you use the information found here as an initial starting point for conducting your own research and conduct your own due diligence (DD) on the featured companies in order to determine your own personal opinion of the company BEFORE investing in these or any other companies. BestDamnPennyStocks.com assumes all information to be truthful and reliable; however, we cannot and do not warrant or guarantee the accuracy of this information. All statements contained herein are deemed to be factual as of the date of this report and as such are subject to change without notice. BestDamnPennyStocks.com is NOT an Investment Advisor, Financial Planning Service or a Stock Brokerage Firm and in accordance with such BestDamnPennyStocks.com is not offering investment advice or promoting any investment strategies. BestDamnPennyStocks.com is not offering securities for sale or solicitation of any offer to buy or sell securities. An offer to buy or sell can be made only with accompanying disclosure documents and only in the states and provinces for which they are approved. On occasion BestDamnPennyStocks.com receives compensation from a third party in relation to the Companies being profiled in its Newsletters sent to our subscribers. In such a case BestDamnPennyStocks.com directly mentions at the bottom of this disclaimer along with the exact form and amount of compensation. BestDamnPennyStocks.com , its affiliates, associates, relatives and anyone associated with BestDamnPennyStocks.com in any manner reserves the right to either BUY or SELL shares in the profiled company’s stock, either BEFORE the date of the profile, DURING the date of the profile or at ANY time after the date of the profile. Do your own research and due diligence (DD) before investing in any company. BestDamnPennyStocks.com merely is providing information and is in no way nor manner suggesting an investment in any company or investment opportunity. You the investor are making decisions for yourself. We may have an inherent conflict of interest by sending the newsletter at the same time we may own stock in the same company or even have been paid compensation at the time of the promotion. BestDamnPennyStocks.com reserve the right to sell shares at anytime, even during the time period in which we are profiling a company. Under no circumstances shall any member of BestDamnPennyStocks.com be held liable for any loss incurred by any individual or individuals as a result of any individual or individuals decision to invest in any company profiled by BestDamnPennyStocks.com. Viewing this web site and viewing picks on this web site or Newsletter sent to subscribers shall not create under any circumstances an offer to buy or sell stock in any company profiled. Nor shall it create any principal-agent relationship between viewer and BestDamnPennyStocks.com Short term investing involves significant risk, and you can lose some or all of your investing capital. Please contact a qualified financial planner before investing in any stocks, including those profiled by BestDamnPennyStocks.com . BestDamnPennyStocks.com may trade in fast moving, highly volatile markets, and any viewer of BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site should observe the trading behavior of any profiled company prior to purchasing. BestDamnPennyStocks.com selections are primarily intended for short term momentum trading and carry a high degree of risk. BestDamnPennyStocks.com also profiles long term trading and those profiles also carry a great deal of risk. Past performance of BestDamnPennyStocks.com is not indicative of future results. In making selections, BestDamnPennyStocks.com may make use of any public information including but not limited to company issued press releases, SEC filings, profiles from Hoovers or Marketguide, brokerage reports, newspapers, magazines, journals, electronic databases on the web, electronic message board postings on the web and other research sites. BestDamnPennyStocks.com attempts to verify the accuracy of the information contained in said resources, but does not represent or warrant the accuracy contained in these resources. Investors should, at no time, rely solely on the information contained in BestDamnPennyStocks.com picks and are urged to research profiled companies on their own, and make their own investment decision. Factual statements on this web site or the Newsletter sent to subscribers are made as of the date stated and are subject to change without notice. The Securities and Exchange Commission has compiled an extensive amount of information concerning online investing, including the inherent risks involved. We encourage our readers to visit the SEC’s web site to acquire this important information. Safe Harbor Disclosure: The BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site contains or incorporates by reference “forward-looking statements, including certain information with respect to plans and strategies of the featured company. As such, any statements contained herein or incorporated herein by reference that are not statements of historical fact may be deemed to be forward-looking statements. Without limiting the forgoing, the words “believe(s),” “anticipate(s),” “plan(s),” “expect(s),” “project(s)” “will” “make” “told” and similar expressions are intended to identify forward-looking statements. There are a number of important factors that could cause actual events or actual results of the Companies profiled herein to differ materially from these indicated by such forward-looking statements. Certain statements contained herein constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Act of 1933 and 21E of the Exchange Act of 1934. Such statements include, without limitation, statements regarding business and financing, business trends, future operating revenues and expenses. Although the Company believes that the statements are reasonable, it can give no assurances that such expectations will prove to be correct. Investors are cautioned that any forward looking statements made by the Company, or contained in any and/or all profile/research reports, contain no guarantee of future performance, and that the actual result may differ materially from those set forth in the forward-looking statements. Difference in results can be caused by various factors including, but not limited to, the Company’s ability to be able to successfully complete planned funding agreements, to successfully market its products in competitive industries or to effectively implement its business plan or strategies. In order to be in full compliance with the U.S. Securities Act of 1933, Section 17(b), BestDamnPennyStocks.com discloses all compensation it receives at the bottom of its newsletter or profile company pages.

Information presented within this report contains “forward looking statements” within the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21B of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect to predictions, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, goals, assumptions, or future events or performance are not statements of historical fact and may be “forward looking statements.” Forward looking statements are based on expectations, estimates, and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. Forward looking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as “expects,” “will,” “anticipates,” “estimates,” “believes,” “may,” or by statements indicating certain actions “may,” “could,” or “might” occur. We encourage our readers to invest carefully and review all forms of investments and read the investor information. More information on the Company may be found at http://www.sec.gov and/or the National Association of Securities Dealers (NASD) at: http://www.nasd.com. Readers can review all public filings by companies at the SEC’s EDGAR page. The NASD has published information on how to invest carefully at its web site. (My note: Um, it’s called FINRA now, for the last couple years, you asshats)

The content in these newsletters and on the BestDamnPennyStocks.com web site are provided for informational purposes only. Use of BestDamnPennyStocks.com Web sites, logos, themes, or other items contained within this report are prohibited without the express written consent of BestDamnPennyStocks.com.

Links to Other Websites. The Site may contain links to other Internet websites or resources. We neither control nor endorse such other websites, nor have we reviewed or approved any content that appears on such other websites. You acknowledge and agree that we shall not be held responsible for the legality, accuracy, or inappropriate nature of any content, advertising, products, services, or information located on or through any other websites, nor for any loss or damages caused or alleged to have been caused by the use
of or reliance on any such content.

Any redistribution of information from this web site or our newsletter e-mails without the written consent of BestDamnPennyStocks.com is strictly prohibited.

This disclaimer may change from time to time without notice.

Wow.

Simply, wow.

Share on Facebook

Share on Facebook