Canada’s Supreme Court today ruled that differently-weighted people (ie. people with gigantic arses) have a “right” to two seats on an airplane for the price of one.

In a move right out of some sort of Kurt Vonnegut nightmare, these dipsticks have essentially said that, rather than have to deal with their gluttony, the rest of us must now subsidize their excessive burger-and-fries narcissism.

Coming soon to the 9th Circuit, no doubt of it whatsoever.