There's a reason for the wink...

Ah, the fine line between anatomy and, well, anatomy. Church-goers are incensed by a rather questionable depiction of the Savior, although not everyone agrees.

Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen “showing distension” — not a penis.

Seeton said, “I’ve had people who have vocally said that that’s what they see there. I’ve had people who have been just as vocal who said that’s not what they’re seeing there.”

Twelve-year-old Frankie and her mother were arrested for trespassing in a U.S. senator’s office. At least in this case the mother was punished as well.

Espeland (the mother) was told that if Frankie didn’t leave the office, she would be arrested for criminal trespass, according to the police report. Espeland allegedly told police she wasn’t going to tell Frankie to leave, and “felt it was important for her daughter to be arrested for the cause.”

…I believe that’s what we would call child abuse, folks.

Just call the cops.

DeFUNIAK SPRINGS —A Walton County man discovered an illegal crop of marijuana growing in his backyard Tuesday night.

Sam Adams called Sheriff’s deputies when he found five marijuana plants growing in a heavily wooded area of his property on Kings Lake Boulevard.

According to a press release from the Walton County Sheriff’s Office, the plants were being “carefully cultivated and watered.”

Mr. Adam’s teenage sons were not available for comment.

Remind me never to take away my son’s Xbox 360 — at least unless the guns are locked up.

A teenage boy in Ohio has been convicted of murdering his mother because she took away his copy of the video game Halo 3, and now faces the possibility of life in prison.

Daniel Petric, 17, shot both his mother and father in October 2007 with a handgun after what was potentially “weeks” of planning, according to the Associated Press. His father survived, but his mother died of a wound to the head. Petric’s defense attorneys had argued that he was not guilty by reason of insanity, claiming that he was dangerously addicted to Halo 3. Petric was tried as an adult in the Lorain County Court of Common Pleas.

This site is full of tinyminds — except here, they self-report. I love it; although a lot of it is mundane, there are some really excellent self-confessed ding-dongs out there — and one can always find something frighteningly familiar in the reported adventures.

Check it out; once BlogRolling is back, this site will be on my ‘roll.

Funny everyday life quotes | jinxed.org.

Well, don’t fall prey to diet scams on the Internet.

As anyone knows who surfs the Web, there are a myriad of people claiming that they have the cure for obesity. And it’s fast, easy, and only costs a little of your hard-earned cash to have these secrets revealed to you!

According to WebMD.com, the top five diet scams include:

• Metabolism-boosting pills based on herbal ingredients
• Fat- and carb-blocking pills
• Herbal weight loss teas
• Diet patches, jewelry, or other products worn on the body
• Body wraps or “slim suits”

Some people really can’t get their minds around the concept that most obesity is caused by two major factors: Too many calories in, and too little exercise to burn it back off.

Try the TinyMinds.Net weight loss program!!!

Want to lose weight? Stop stuffing your gob, and get your ass off the couch.

Thank you, that will be $29.95.

Which is quite normal, coming from the alleged humor-banks here at Tiny Minds.

However, I’m on the trail of what I believe is either a ponzi scheme or at best, a very VERY expensive “educational” program currently raging all over the internet. This “program” is called “Arbitrage Conspiracy” and it involves the payment of thousands of dollars for a two-week “course” that teaches you how to sign up for Google AdWords and ClickBank (or their equivelents), set up a “landing site” and start collection zillions of dollars in affiliate marketing fees.

Now, I’m all for making money on the Internet, but a few hours surfing, or a trip to Barnes and Noble and around $40 bucks worth of books, can teach you all of that.

The founder of “Arbitrage Conspiracy” claims that he makes $50-100k per day through his efforts — but doesn’t reveal what percentage of that is in fees collected from his erstwhile students.

Please — if you know anything about this program, please email me or leave a comment on this post. I want to get to the bottom of this, as I know personally at least one person who is in the process  of being burned by these folks.

Dictionary.com defines arbitrage as “the process of arbitration — decision by arbitration”. Commonly in business, it means buying something “the simultaneous purchase and sale of the same securities, commodities, or foreign exchange in different markets to profit from unequal prices.”

What the hell does that have to do with affiliate marketing? And why is it a conspiracy?

Show this to your wife the next time she complains you didn’t do the vacuuming last weekend. This may put me off pizza for a long time, although I sadly suspect I may not have any appetite tomorrow night anyway.

I can’t figure out who the biggest dumbshit is in this story, the driver, the passenger or the DA.

Passenger Fights DUI For Steering As Driver Ate

CARLISLE, Pa. — A Pennsylvania man is fighting a DUI charge, on the grounds that he was in the passenger’s seat. A state trooper said Derek Pittman had reached over and was steering the car while the driver was taking a bite of a sandwich that he was holding in both hands.

Sometimes, these stories contain hidden nuggets. Can you “Spot the Dumbshit” in this story?

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — Temptation wasn’t a factor for a cab driver in Atlantic City when a passenger left $2,085 in $100 bills in the back seat.

When the cabbie, Abdelmegid Emam, spotted the cash, he alerted his company and the doorman at the Atlantic City Hilton Wednesday. It didn’t take long for his fares to come running back from the city’s Convention Center. Bill Jesse of Dallas, Pa., handed the cabbie a $100 bill.

The cab driver told The Press of Atlantic City he is a Muslim and his faith forbids him to take something that does not belong to him. The Egyptian native said he has five kids and wants to raise them right.