Well, don’t fall prey to diet scams on the Internet.

As anyone knows who surfs the Web, there are a myriad of people claiming that they have the cure for obesity. And it’s fast, easy, and only costs a little of your hard-earned cash to have these secrets revealed to you!

According to WebMD.com, the top five diet scams include:

• Metabolism-boosting pills based on herbal ingredients
• Fat- and carb-blocking pills
• Herbal weight loss teas
• Diet patches, jewelry, or other products worn on the body
• Body wraps or “slim suits”

Some people really can’t get their minds around the concept that most obesity is caused by two major factors: Too many calories in, and too little exercise to burn it back off.

Try the TinyMinds.Net weight loss program!!!

Want to lose weight? Stop stuffing your gob, and get your ass off the couch.

Thank you, that will be $29.95.

Which is quite normal, coming from the alleged humor-banks here at Tiny Minds.

However, I’m on the trail of what I believe is either a ponzi scheme or at best, a very VERY expensive “educational” program currently raging all over the internet. This “program” is called “Arbitrage Conspiracy” and it involves the payment of thousands of dollars for a two-week “course” that teaches you how to sign up for Google AdWords and ClickBank (or their equivelents), set up a “landing site” and start collection zillions of dollars in affiliate marketing fees.

Now, I’m all for making money on the Internet, but a few hours surfing, or a trip to Barnes and Noble and around $40 bucks worth of books, can teach you all of that.

The founder of “Arbitrage Conspiracy” claims that he makes $50-100k per day through his efforts — but doesn’t reveal what percentage of that is in fees collected from his erstwhile students.

Please — if you know anything about this program, please email me or leave a comment on this post. I want to get to the bottom of this, as I know personally at least one person who is in the process  of being burned by these folks.

Dictionary.com defines arbitrage as “the process of arbitration — decision by arbitration”. Commonly in business, it means buying something “the simultaneous purchase and sale of the same securities, commodities, or foreign exchange in different markets to profit from unequal prices.”

What the hell does that have to do with affiliate marketing? And why is it a conspiracy?

Show this to your wife the next time she complains you didn’t do the vacuuming last weekend. This may put me off pizza for a long time, although I sadly suspect I may not have any appetite tomorrow night anyway.

I can’t figure out who the biggest dumbshit is in this story, the driver, the passenger or the DA.

Passenger Fights DUI For Steering As Driver Ate

CARLISLE, Pa. — A Pennsylvania man is fighting a DUI charge, on the grounds that he was in the passenger’s seat. A state trooper said Derek Pittman had reached over and was steering the car while the driver was taking a bite of a sandwich that he was holding in both hands.

Sometimes, these stories contain hidden nuggets. Can you “Spot the Dumbshit” in this story?

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — Temptation wasn’t a factor for a cab driver in Atlantic City when a passenger left $2,085 in $100 bills in the back seat.

When the cabbie, Abdelmegid Emam, spotted the cash, he alerted his company and the doorman at the Atlantic City Hilton Wednesday. It didn’t take long for his fares to come running back from the city’s Convention Center. Bill Jesse of Dallas, Pa., handed the cabbie a $100 bill.

The cab driver told The Press of Atlantic City he is a Muslim and his faith forbids him to take something that does not belong to him. The Egyptian native said he has five kids and wants to raise them right.