Archive for the ‘Random effluvia’ Category

Everyone should have a goal

New Jersey woman is packing in 12,000 calories a day in a bid to become the fattest woman in the world. If I were her daughter I’d be careful not to spill any mustard on myself.

[ed: that's not the wide-angle shot, so to speak; see the original article for that kind of thing]

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Communist Party

They really know how. Not sure where this comes from but I love it:

Communist Party

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Actually, this isn’t so stupid

I kinda like this idea, and it’s good PR for the business.

A Spanish bar is encouraging clients to insult its staff – and offering free drinks for original or hilarious abuse.

“When you come in after work, you can say swear at them and call them bastard or imbecile,” said client Antonio Ossa.

He told state news agency EFE the promotion by the Casa Pocho bar, in the southern town of Cullera near Valencia, seemed like a good idea to him.

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New Stock Market Terms

I didn’t write these, but I did receive them in my in-box, which is pretty much the same thing, isn’t it? Anyhow, thought I would share:

New Stock Market Terms

CEO– Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET– A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET– a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING– The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO– The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER – What my financial planner has made me.

STANDARD & POOR– Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST– Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT– When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION– The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS– What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo at=2 0$240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR– Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT – an archaic word no longer in use.

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Dumbfounded and not amused

From time to time I look at the referrals we’re getting for our traffic. Just now, a bloke (I will presume) searched Yahoo for a term that brought him to Tiny Minds.

“tiny girl shower sex pics”.

First off, how in the hell did that lead him here, and second off, what kind of a sick son of a bitch would search for such things on the Internet?

Third, how did he think no one would notice, or take note of his IP address?

Please, buddy, just off yourself. Do us all a favor.

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