Archive for the ‘Idiots of Note’ Category

Just when you thought you’d seen everything

along comes something stunning, original, and so downright stupid that it leaves you gasping for air.

Is your marriage suffering? Do you lack the kind of true intimacy that you used to have, but now no longer enjoy?

One solution is to do more things together with your significant other. And what thing would bring you closer than… well, poopoo?

Yes, it’s true — a brainiac of gigantic proportions has invented the “Toilet Built For Two.”

Hard as it is to believe, this $1,400 loo has an optional 7″ LCD TV and iPOD docking port.

Just what my wife wants for Valentine’s Day, I’m certain of it.

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Second Civil War if Obama Loses?

Well that’s a fine kettle of fish!

Eminent genius and perfect prognosticator Erica Jong tells an Italian newspaper all about her paranoid delusions:

Basically, Jong says her fear that Obama might lose the election has developed into an “obsession. A paralyzing terror. An anxious fever that keeps you awake at night.” She also says that her friends Jane Fonda and Naomi Wolf are extremely worried that Obama will be sabotaged by Republican dirty tricks, and that if an Obama loss indeed comes to pass, the result will be a second American Civil War.

Among other chestnuts she throws out for the world to see:

“The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged.”

“My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can’t cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves.”

“My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium.”

“After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…”

“If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it’s not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets.”

“Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act.”

Obviously, Erica, Jane, and Naomi really need to take a vacation. Seriously.

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U.S. Broke Law By Allowing Illegals to Break the Law

Thereby absolving illegals of their illegality. I think or something.

See this World Class Idiot bloviating to the Mexican Congress here

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Clueless in Seattle

Our product isn’t selling well, so we will make it even more painful for legitimate buyers. In a related note, Balmer announced that the floggings at Microsoft will continue until morale improves.

Ballmer blames pirates for poor Vista sales

Will crank up the WGA
By Nick Farrell Monday 19 February 2007, 15:50

THE SHY and retiring, softly-spoken CEO of Microsoft, Steve “Sounds of Silence” Ballmer is blaming software pirates for Vista’s poor sales.

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No, that’s not selfish at all…

LONDON, England (Reuters) — A 63-year-old British hospital consultant is set to become one of the world’s oldest mothers after undergoing fertility treatment, the Italian doctor who treated her said on Thursday.

Patricia Rashbrook, a child psychologist from Lewes, East Sussex, was given in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment last October, Severino Antinori told Reuters.

Antinori, who said he was “excited and proud” about the treatment, gained notoriety in the early 1990s when he helped a 62-year-old Italian woman give birth following fertility treatment with a donated egg.

So great, this bird will be 82 years old when the poor kid gets out of high school. What a lovely thing to do to a child.

The doctor was very reassuring, however, when he described the criteria for the perfect mother:

“She came here with her husband, the couple love each other, she is very slim, blonde and in perfect condition, she fits all the criteria for maternity.”

Slim, blond, and perfect condition. Sounds like the perfect mother to me.

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