OK, this one is really strange — but I have a feeling alcohol was involved:

Here’s one for the bizarro file. A man purchased a scratch ticket onboard a Ryanair flight. Yes, Ryanair sells scratch tickets onboard—are you really that surprised? The passenger scratched the ticket and lo and behold, it was a winner! €10,000, or roughly $13,600!

At this point, the story is already strange enough. Who buys a scratch ticket, let alone a winning one, on an airplane? Heck, it’s pretty odd that an airline even sells scratch tickets. But what happened next truly baffles the mind: the man ate the ticket.

According to the BBC, the passenger, whose name has not been released, demanded that the winnings be paid immediately. This, of course, is completely absurd, as no airline would stash a spare €10,000 on its planes, and no crewmember is going to write a check.

Read more here…

Or this idiot will try to suspend you…

Patrick Timoney brought a tiny Lego man, holding a two inch firearm, to his public school in South Beach, Staten Island this week. It nearly got him suspended.

And we wonder why kids are having a hard time learning stuff in our schools.

President Barack Obama yesterday praised Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe for voting for the Healthcare billl in committee.  According to Obama, his healthcare bill now has bi-partisan support.

But wait!  Sen. Snowe is a RINO, a Republican in Name ONLY.  This is the same senator who was elected in 1994  when the Republicans swept both houses of Congress.  Little thanks did she have for the Republican agenda.  She voted against the resolution that would have sent impeached and failed President Bill Clinton packing.  After that “victory” Clinton invited Snowe to the White House for an “After the Impeachment” Victory Party.

Snowe is not the first Maine senator to be out of step with the times.  In the 1950’s Maine had a notable GOP Senator in Margaret Chase Smith.   Chase Smith has the distinction of being the first woman whose name was put up for nomination for president of the United States.  That was the year that the Republicans embraced Arizona Sen. Barry Goldwater for president.

Chase Smith is also the author of the little known Declaration of Conscience in June 1, 1950.  Her declaration was a reaction to the Red Scare.   One of the leaders in Congress was her fellow senator, Joseph McCarthy.

Chase Smith unveiled her Declaration of Conscience on the floor of the Senate.  It declared:

• The right to criticize;
• The right to hold an unpopular belief;
• The right to protest;
• The right to independent thought.

Her Declaration was debated for a while, but her timing was terrible.  Only 24 days later, the North Korean Army launched an invasion across the 38th parallel and started the Korean War.  No one cared about the Chase Smith’s epistle after that.

Chase Smith’s seat eventually went over to Maine’s other senator, Susan Collins.   She, incidentally,  is the other RINO in the senate.

The Real conservative of that era and of all eras remains Goldwater.   What would he say today?

’nuff said.

‘There’s no reason only poor people should get malaria’: The moment Bill Gates released jar of mosquitoes at packed conference | Mail Online.

Awesome thinking, Bill.

‘Malaria is spread by mosquitoes,’ the Microsoft founder yelled at a well-heeled crowd at a technology conference in California.

’I brought some,’ he added. ‘Here, I’ll let them roam around – there is no reason only poor people should be infected.’

So let me get this straight — malaria is spread by mosquitoes, and now one of the richest men in the world is putting himself in charge of spreading the mosquitoes?

Nicely thought out.

along comes something stunning, original, and so downright stupid that it leaves you gasping for air.

Is your marriage suffering? Do you lack the kind of true intimacy that you used to have, but now no longer enjoy?

One solution is to do more things together with your significant other. And what thing would bring you closer than… well, poopoo?

Yes, it’s true — a brainiac of gigantic proportions has invented the “Toilet Built For Two.”

Hard as it is to believe, this $1,400 loo has an optional 7″ LCD TV and iPOD docking port.

Just what my wife wants for Valentine’s Day, I’m certain of it.

Well that’s a fine kettle of fish!

Eminent genius and perfect prognosticator Erica Jong tells an Italian newspaper all about her paranoid delusions:

Basically, Jong says her fear that Obama might lose the election has developed into an “obsession. A paralyzing terror. An anxious fever that keeps you awake at night.” She also says that her friends Jane Fonda and Naomi Wolf are extremely worried that Obama will be sabotaged by Republican dirty tricks, and that if an Obama loss indeed comes to pass, the result will be a second American Civil War.

Among other chestnuts she throws out for the world to see:

“The record shows that voting machines in America are rigged.”

“My friends Ken Follett and Susan Cheever are extremely worried. Naomi Wolf calls me every day. Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can’t cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduces her to a bundle of nerves.”

“My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium.”

“After having stolen the last two elections, the Republican Mafia…”

“If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me. And it’s not a coincidence that President Bush recalled soldiers from Iraq for Dick Cheney to lead against American citizens in the streets.”

“Bush has transformed America into a police state, from torture to the imprisonment of reporters, to the Patriot Act.”

Obviously, Erica, Jane, and Naomi really need to take a vacation. Seriously.

Thereby absolving illegals of their illegality. I think or something.

See this World Class Idiot bloviating to the Mexican Congress here

Our product isn’t selling well, so we will make it even more painful for legitimate buyers. In a related note, Balmer announced that the floggings at Microsoft will continue until morale improves.

Ballmer blames pirates for poor Vista sales

Will crank up the WGA
By Nick Farrell Monday 19 February 2007, 15:50

THE SHY and retiring, softly-spoken CEO of Microsoft, Steve “Sounds of Silence” Ballmer is blaming software pirates for Vista’s poor sales.

LONDON, England (Reuters) — A 63-year-old British hospital consultant is set to become one of the world’s oldest mothers after undergoing fertility treatment, the Italian doctor who treated her said on Thursday.

Patricia Rashbrook, a child psychologist from Lewes, East Sussex, was given in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment last October, Severino Antinori told Reuters.

Antinori, who said he was “excited and proud” about the treatment, gained notoriety in the early 1990s when he helped a 62-year-old Italian woman give birth following fertility treatment with a donated egg.

So great, this bird will be 82 years old when the poor kid gets out of high school. What a lovely thing to do to a child.

The doctor was very reassuring, however, when he described the criteria for the perfect mother:

“She came here with her husband, the couple love each other, she is very slim, blonde and in perfect condition, she fits all the criteria for maternity.”

Slim, blond, and perfect condition. Sounds like the perfect mother to me.

I’m amazed at all of the cover that the right wing blogosphere is giving Ben Domenech. If 1/10 of 1% of the allegations of plagiarism against him are true, he deserves much more than to just resign from the Washington Post.

Happily, Michelle Malkin isn’t one of the apologists.

In my opinion, the worst possible form of blasphemy (well, except for the real kind) is to steal the works of PJ O’Rourke.

Shame, shame, shame on you.

… this poor bastard wouldn’t be out of a job and heading for jail.

A Chantilly High School teacher accused of giving marijuana to a student was arrested at his home on Monday. Thomas Newlun, 53, faced charges including marijuana distribution and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

According to police, Newlun allegedly gave a small amount of marijuana to a 17-year-old student after class last Friday. The boy then gave the drugs to a school security officer.

Yes, it’s true — the ungrateful little bastard narc’d him out.

I have to say, this story has all the elements of an Idiot of Note — and therefore, I hereby grant that title to Mr. Newlun. Grats on a job well done.

Slobodan turns out to have offed himself, in an ill-fated bid to get some vacation time in Moscow. That’s about the most perfectly fitting thing that’s happened in international politics in a long damned time. What a dipstick — he probably would have gotten off with 5 years probation and having to register as a “genocidal maniac” after his release.

Woops.

THE HAGUE (Reuters) – Slobodan Milosevic took drugs that worsened his health before dying in prison, a Dutch expert said on Monday, as the former Yugoslav president’s family tried to decide whether to bury him in Serbia or Russia.

Adding to controversy over Milosevic’s death just months before an expected verdict in his war crimes trial, Russia expressed its “distrust” of proceedings and pressed The Hague tribunal to allow its doctors to examine post mortem results.

Groningen University toxicologist Donald Uges told Reuters he thought Milosevic had knowingly taken harmful medicines to improve his case for going for medical treatment to Russia, where his wife, son and brother live.

This genius gives new meaning to the word “confused.” Good grief.

BELLEFONTE, Pa. — Police said a man drove 17 miles in the wrong direction on a Pennsylvania interstate before being pulled over.

State police said the Florida man appeared confused when he was stopped early Tuesday while driving west in the eastbound lanes of Interstate 80.

The trooper who pursued the SUV said the driver had a can of beer on the console and was slurring his words.

The trooper told the Centre Daily Times that when he told the driver that he had traveled 17 miles in the wrong direction, somehow managing to avoid head-on collisions with 60 to 80 vehicles, the driver seemed confused.

The trooper told the paper that the driver said, “What do you mean?”

State police were called early Tuesday morning about an SUV traveling west in the eastbound lanes of I-80 at mile marker 156. A trooper said he came upon the driver at mile marker 141. Police said John William Fisher Jr.’s blood alcohol content was measured at .216 — nearly three times the legal limit.

He was arraigned on charges including driving under the influence, and jailed in lieu of $20,000 bail.

Poor bastard is down to his last million. I feel soooo sorry for him.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) – Former Enron Chairman and CEO Ken Lay has seen his personal fortune eaten away by the collapse of the energy trader and his legal problems, and he could be forced to file for bankruptcy protection, according to a published report.

The New York Times reported that Lay’s stated net worth is now less than $650,000, down from as much as $400 million before Enron’s downfall in 2001.

And the Times said that latest valuation is probably on the optimistic side. It includes an estimated $1.9 million held in a trust that the paper reports is almost sure to be consumed by legal fees.

If you must, just take a Xanax and chill until the plane lands already…

You may have heard about his odd complex…

Internet dating will never be the same, now that these dumbshits have put the fear of God into the web-dating public…. imagine chatting up some sexy broad over a dating service for a few months, finally manning up enough to meet in real life — only to find out that the woman you’ve been typing sweet nothings (and no doubt, more sloppy things) to is, in fact, she-who-bore-your-scrawny-ass into the world.

But do they suck enough to kill your dad?

This dipshit decided that his blowing it at school was bad enough to murder his father to avoid the idea that he might actually… omg… get grounded or some such bullshit. To compound his idiocy, he couldn’t even figure out that perhaps the authorities might notice that although his father’s body had burned up, his skull had .45 caliber holes in it.

Sigh.

Too bad the Golden State doesn’t allow the death penalty for juveniles. This is definately one gene line that needs to end. Hopefully life in prison without parole will come along to Darwinize this particular thread of humanity.

I won’t hold my breath.