TINY MINDS

Archive for the ‘Brilliant Studies’ Category

that tells us exactly what any thinking, living person knows instinctually:

Exposure to sex in youth encourages …. youth sex. Duh.

CHICAGO (Reuters) – Sexually charged music, magazines, TV and movies push youngsters into intercourse at an earlier age, perhaps by acting as kind of virtual peer that tells them everyone else is doing it, a study said Monday.

“This is the first time we’ve shown that the more kids are exposed to sex in media the earlier they have sex,” said Jane Brown of the University of North Carolina, chief author of the report.

By “first time we’ve shown”, I suspect she’s referring to her and her immediate study colleagues.

I’m continually amazed that real people actually get paid to study the same stuff over and over and over and the media always reports it as some amazing new revelation of knowledge never before gleaned by man.

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An amazingly silly new study, “the largest of it’s kind”, announced today that prayer doesn’t help. If you have heart problems, an attack, or surgery, you’re screwed no matter who is praying for you.

… researchers found that having people pray for heart bypass surgery patients had no effect on their recovery. In fact, patients who knew they were being prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications.

Researchers emphasized that their work can’t address whether God exists or answers prayers made on another’s behalf. The study can only look for an effect from prayers offered as part of the research, they said.

They also said they had no explanation for the higher complication rate in patients who knew they were being prayed for, in comparison to patients who only knew it was possible prayers were being said for them.

No word on who will be praying for the idiots that sponsored this study. Nor whether it will have any effect on their decision making process in the future.

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These geniuses have determined, after extensive study, that good looking guys tend to have riskier sex lives than dumpy fat ugly fellows.

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Young men who feel good about their looks are more likely than their peers with a less positive body image to engage in risky sexual behavior, a new study of college students shows.

The men who were most satisfied with their appearance, and the most appearance-oriented — meaning they were highly invested in their looks and considered appearance to be important — were also the most likely to have sex without condoms and to have sex with multiple partners, Dr. Eva S. Lefkowitz of Pennsylvania State University in University Park and colleagues report.

“There’s kind of a general belief that a positive view of your body is a good thing,” Lefkowitz said in an interview with Reuters Health. “We’re not saying that’s not true, but we do think in the case of young men there could be potential negative ramifications of a positive view of one’s body.”

Important stuff. Apparently, if we want to stamp out VD and stuff, we’d better feed a lot of Big Mac’s to this coming generation of young people, and remind them of just how insecure they should be about their pimples and BO.

For this, these clowns actually get paid?

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Our women have been saying it for years; my wife is ALWAYS giving me crap because I’m lost whilst driving but refuse to admit it. But this study has proven what they’ve always known : We’re ding dongs when it comes to driving and asking for directions.

British male drivers waste nearly six million hours a year lost on the road because they are reluctant to ask for directions.

Men who are lost wait an average of 20 minutes before giving up and asking for directions, while women only wait 10 minutes before seeking help, according to a survey from Royal Automobile Club Direct Insurance.

Men even endure a “nagging period” of around 10 minutes from their partner before throwing in the towel and stopping to ask the way, the poll showed.