Archive for the ‘Brilliant Studies’ Category

Should the internet be destroyed?

There are literally bjillions of gigabytes of absolute crap on the Internet — this site included. But just in case something wasn’t covered, American Chronicle decided that it had to make this contribution. Apparently, chronic nose-picking is now officially an addiction.

Thanks.

On behalf of the human race, I would like to apologize to the rest of the Universe for this particular bit of teh intarweb.

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The 900 Club

I never realized that extreme obesity was as relatively common as it turns out to be. Some of the biggest names in fat are documented here, it makes for some interesting reading.

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Who woulda thunk it?

In yet another groundbreaking and no-doubt expensive study:

NEW YORK, Oct. 24 (UPI) — Researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University say most men are always thinking of sex.

A study released Tuesday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Scientists found 54 percent of men and 19 percent of women admit they think about sex every day — or several times a day — in a society where they are bombarded with subconscious erotic images.

For a cup of Starbucks, I could have saved them thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours.

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Here come the depleted uranium Legos…

In a shockingly brilliant new study, “scientists” have determined that having children exercise more, perhaps by adding weight to their playthings, might cut down on the epidemic of bloated, corpulent toddlers:

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Adding weights to children’s toys may help them improve their fitness during playtime, the results of a small study suggest.

I believe adding the title “Dr. Obvious” to this clown’s resume is also in order.

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Well Duh…

Angst ridden teenagers who are fascinated with death are more likely to harm themselves. Wow, who would have imagined that?

“Although only fairly small numbers of young people identify themselves as belonging to the Goth subculture, rates of self-harm and attempted suicide are very high among this group,” said Robert Young, lead researcher of the Glasgow University study.

I wonder where I can get a grant to find out if alcoholics are more likely to get drunk?

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