In German Youth News, (and isn’t that something we all follow with aplomb?) the AP has reported that the top three German youth words this year are:

Judges chose “gammelfleischparty”, or “spoiled meat party,” - an unflattering term for a gathering of people over 30 - as the “youth word of the year 2008.” The word “gammelfleisch” was in the news frequently during the year when it was discovered that meat packers had been regularly supplying some kebab restaurants with past-due products.

“Bildschirmbraeune” or “screen tan” - referring to the complexion of someone who spends too much time at a computer - came second, while “unterhopft,” meaning “underhopped,” or in need of a beer, took third.

I just knew you’d want to know.

This is a two-fer -- if you'd like a Simpsons avatar, visit here

According to this article, Second Life avatars use more energy than the typical Brazilian. So not only are you massively wasting your time on Second Life, you’re killing the planet.

Just die, already.

There are literally bjillions of gigabytes of absolute crap on the Internet — this site included. But just in case something wasn’t covered, American Chronicle decided that it had to make this contribution. Apparently, chronic nose-picking is now officially an addiction.

Thanks.

On behalf of the human race, I would like to apologize to the rest of the Universe for this particular bit of teh intarweb.

I never realized that extreme obesity was as relatively common as it turns out to be. Some of the biggest names in fat are documented here, it makes for some interesting reading.

In yet another groundbreaking and no-doubt expensive study:

NEW YORK, Oct. 24 (UPI) — Researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction at Indiana University say most men are always thinking of sex.

A study released Tuesday in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Scientists found 54 percent of men and 19 percent of women admit they think about sex every day — or several times a day — in a society where they are bombarded with subconscious erotic images.

For a cup of Starbucks, I could have saved them thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours.

In a shockingly brilliant new study, “scientists” have determined that having children exercise more, perhaps by adding weight to their playthings, might cut down on the epidemic of bloated, corpulent toddlers:

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Adding weights to children’s toys may help them improve their fitness during playtime, the results of a small study suggest.

I believe adding the title “Dr. Obvious” to this clown’s resume is also in order.

Angst ridden teenagers who are fascinated with death are more likely to harm themselves. Wow, who would have imagined that?

“Although only fairly small numbers of young people identify themselves as belonging to the Goth subculture, rates of self-harm and attempted suicide are very high among this group,” said Robert Young, lead researcher of the Glasgow University study.

I wonder where I can get a grant to find out if alcoholics are more likely to get drunk?

that tells us exactly what any thinking, living person knows instinctually:

Exposure to sex in youth encourages …. youth sex. Duh.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Sexually charged music, magazines, TV and movies push youngsters into intercourse at an earlier age, perhaps by acting as kind of virtual peer that tells them everyone else is doing it, a study said Monday.

“This is the first time we’ve shown that the more kids are exposed to sex in media the earlier they have sex,” said Jane Brown of the University of North Carolina, chief author of the report.

By “first time we’ve shown”, I suspect she’s referring to her and her immediate study colleagues.

I’m continually amazed that real people actually get paid to study the same stuff over and over and over and the media always reports it as some amazing new revelation of knowledge never before gleaned by man.

An amazingly silly new study, “the largest of it’s kind”, announced today that prayer doesn’t help. If you have heart problems, an attack, or surgery, you’re screwed no matter who is praying for you.

… researchers found that having people pray for heart bypass surgery patients had no effect on their recovery. In fact, patients who knew they were being prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications.

Researchers emphasized that their work can’t address whether God exists or answers prayers made on another’s behalf. The study can only look for an effect from prayers offered as part of the research, they said.

They also said they had no explanation for the higher complication rate in patients who knew they were being prayed for, in comparison to patients who only knew it was possible prayers were being said for them.

No word on who will be praying for the idiots that sponsored this study. Nor whether it will have any effect on their decision making process in the future.

Linked to RUA 

These geniuses have determined, after extensive study, that good looking guys tend to have riskier sex lives than dumpy fat ugly fellows.

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Young men who feel good about their looks are more likely than their peers with a less positive body image to engage in risky sexual behavior, a new study of college students shows.

The men who were most satisfied with their appearance, and the most appearance-oriented — meaning they were highly invested in their looks and considered appearance to be important — were also the most likely to have sex without condoms and to have sex with multiple partners, Dr. Eva S. Lefkowitz of Pennsylvania State University in University Park and colleagues report.

“There’s kind of a general belief that a positive view of your body is a good thing,” Lefkowitz said in an interview with Reuters Health. “We’re not saying that’s not true, but we do think in the case of young men there could be potential negative ramifications of a positive view of one’s body.”

Important stuff. Apparently, if we want to stamp out VD and stuff, we’d better feed a lot of Big Mac’s to this coming generation of young people, and remind them of just how insecure they should be about their pimples and BO.

For this, these clowns actually get paid?

Our women have been saying it for years; my wife is ALWAYS giving me crap because I’m lost whilst driving but refuse to admit it. But this study has proven what they’ve always known : We’re ding dongs when it comes to driving and asking for directions.

British male drivers waste nearly six million hours a year lost on the road because they are reluctant to ask for directions.

Men who are lost wait an average of 20 minutes before giving up and asking for directions, while women only wait 10 minutes before seeking help, according to a survey from Royal Automobile Club Direct Insurance.

Men even endure a “nagging period” of around 10 minutes from their partner before throwing in the towel and stopping to ask the way, the poll showed.