Archive for December, 2008

Want to lose a lot of weight, really fast?

Well, don’t fall prey to diet scams on the Internet.

As anyone knows who surfs the Web, there are a myriad of people claiming that they have the cure for obesity. And it’s fast, easy, and only costs a little of your hard-earned cash to have these secrets revealed to you!

According to WebMD.com, the top five diet scams include:

  • Metabolism-boosting pills based on herbal ingredients
  • Fat- and carb-blocking pills
  • Herbal weight loss teas
  • Diet patches, jewelry, or other products worn on the body
  • Body wraps or “slim suits”

Some people really can’t get their minds around the concept that most obesity is caused by two major factors: Too many calories in, and too little exercise to burn it back off.

Try the TinyMinds.Net weight loss program!!!

Want to lose weight? Stop stuffing your gob, and get your ass off the couch.

Thank you, that will be $29.95.

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Punking the Red-light Camera

I knew nothing good would come of automated red-light cameras at intersections. These collosal money-makers for local jurisdictions have been shown to not only not reduce the incidence of red-light running, but in fact encourage unsafe behavior at such intersections. Now, we find that teenagers may be using them to punk their enemies or teachers or the like:

As a prank, students from local high schools have been taking advantage of the county’s Speed Camera Program in order to exact revenge on people who they believe have wronged them in the past, including other students and even teachers.

Students are even obtaining vehicles from their friends that are similar or identical to the make and model of the car owned by the targeted victim, according to the parent.

Students from Richard Montgomery High School dubbed the prank the Speed Camera “Pimping” game, according to a parent of a student enrolled at one of the high schools.

Originating from Wootton High School, the parent said, students duplicate the license plates by printing plate numbers on glossy photo paper, using fonts from certain websites that “mimic” those on Maryland license plates. They tape the duplicate plate over the existing plate on the back of their car and purposefully speed through a speed camera, the parent said. The victim then receives a citation in the mail days later.

Hat tip to InstaMonkey

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Gothic Kittens? WTF

On behalf of Planet Earth, I would like to once again apologize to any actually intelligent creatures in the Universe. It seems that we have reached a new low; crawling into the space between Gov. Blogo’s belly and the ground, which is no mean feat, we have:

WILKES-BARRE, Pa. (AP) — Humane officers said a Pennsylvania woman marketed “gothic kittens” with ear, neck and tail piercings over the Internet. Officers with the SPCA of Luzerne County removed three kittens and a cat from a home outside Wilkes-Barre.

Officer Carol Morrison said the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals raided the home on Wednesday after getting a tip that the woman was selling the pierced kittens on eBay.

“It’s unbelievable anybody would do this to kittens,” Morrison said.

Charges are likely against the homeowner, whose name was not released.

Morrison said the woman has a pet grooming business in the basement of the home.

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Arbitrage Conspiracy — this ain’t funny

Which is quite normal, coming from the alleged humor-banks here at Tiny Minds.

However, I’m on the trail of what I believe is either a ponzi scheme or at best, a very VERY expensive “educational” program currently raging all over the internet. This “program” is called “Arbitrage Conspiracy” and it involves the payment of thousands of dollars for a two-week “course” that teaches you how to sign up for Google AdWords and ClickBank (or their equivelents), set up a “landing site” and start collection zillions of dollars in affiliate marketing fees.

Now, I’m all for making money on the Internet, but a few hours surfing, or a trip to Barnes and Noble and around $40 bucks worth of books, can teach you all of that.

The founder of “Arbitrage Conspiracy” claims that he makes $50-100k per day through his efforts — but doesn’t reveal what percentage of that is in fees collected from his erstwhile students.

Please — if you know anything about this program, please email me or leave a comment on this post. I want to get to the bottom of this, as I know personally at least one person who is in the process  of being burned by these folks.

Dictionary.com defines arbitrage as “the process of arbitration — decision by arbitration”. Commonly in business, it means buying something “the simultaneous purchase and sale of the same securities, commodities, or foreign exchange in different markets to profit from unequal prices.”

What the hell does that have to do with affiliate marketing? And why is it a conspiracy?

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Zero Toleration: Sandwich assault

And in aggravated assault news, we have the following silly story:

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) – Police said a Port St. Lucie man was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, the second food attack that sent a man to jail in about a month. According to a police report released Monday, the 20-year-old man threw the sandwich at his girlfriend’s face during an argument about auto insurance and then hit her head with his fist.The man admitted to throwing the food but not hitting her. He was arrested Friday and faces a battery charge.

Last month, another man was arrested on a battery charge for hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off and nearly causing a  traffic crash.

Police reports did not [report] what type of sandwich was used in either attack.

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