Archive for November, 2008

Breaking News: Butt Bandit Caught in the End

So to speak:

VALENTINE, Neb. (AP) – Ten misdemeanor counts have been filed against a man Cherry County authorities believe is the vandal some townspeople have dubbed the “Butt Bandit.”

Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said that on Tuesday he filed nine counts of public indecency and one count of disturbing the peace against 35-year-old Tom Larvie, of Valentine. All are misdemeanors.

Larvie is suspected of leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine since the spring of 2007.

The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly.

Scott said Larvie was caught in the act by police early Wednesday morning.

This should serve as a reminder that our police officers do a dirty, nasty job, sometimes. I would NOT want to be the guy who had to pat him down.

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How to wriggle out of this one?

Boy, I wish I’d thought of this one. There’s nothing sexier than scared women shaking their legs.

A Japanese man was arrested for releasing hundreds of beetle larvae inside a moving express train to try to scare female passengers, police said Tuesday.

I wanted to see women get scared and shake their legs,” police quoted 35-year-old Manabu Mizuta as saying.

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Bus Driver Run Amok

I’m still trying to figure out why this was a problem. Little shit got what was coming, says I:

AMBRIDGE, Pa. (AP) – A school bus driver will be charged with endangering a 10-year-old boy for intentionally braking suddenly so the boy would fall down, police said.

The driver was upset because the boy would not remain in his seat, Harmony Township police Sgt. Jim Essek said.

The driver told the boy to stop moving around before allegedly threatening him by saying, “If you do it again, I’ll knock you down,” Essek said.

When the fourth-grader moved around again, the bus driver hit the brakes.

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Dumbfounded and not amused

From time to time I look at the referrals we’re getting for our traffic. Just now, a bloke (I will presume) searched Yahoo for a term that brought him to Tiny Minds.

“tiny girl shower sex pics”.

First off, how in the hell did that lead him here, and second off, what kind of a sick son of a bitch would search for such things on the Internet?

Third, how did he think no one would notice, or take note of his IP address?

Please, buddy, just off yourself. Do us all a favor.

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Some people have no sense of humor

Apparently, this is no joke:

A popular comedian active in Burma’s democracy movement has been sentenced to 45 years in jail by a Burmese court.

Seems this funny guy had the nerve to be trying to send aid to victims of the recent cyclone that devastated large parts of the countryside in May.

An outspoken satirist of the military government, Zarganar had already been arrested and jailed four times before he was taken from his home again by the authorities in June.

Hopefully, Dennis Miller will take this to heart as our new regime takes power. Obama doesn’t seem to have the same sense of humor as W had — and who really knows what kind of “change” is coming?

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