Archive for April, 2007

And now, in related news

Sheryl Crow is NOT gonna like this:

HUTCHINSON, Kan. (AP) – Toilet paper is becoming a sought after commodity at the Hutchinson Correctional Facility after officials began limiting inmates to one roll at a time to trim costs.Officials say the prison has long had a limit, but they learned recently that it hadn’t been enforced. Increased enforcement began this month.

Under the prison policy, inmates are restricted to four rolls of toilet paper each month or on an “as-needed” basis.

Four rolls a month? Wow, that’s harsh. Course the enviros would make it more like 1 roll a year, one square at a time. These guys had better consider themselves lucky.

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New meaning for the term “good shit”

MADRID, Spain – Courthouse maintenance workers responding to a complaint about a clogged toilet found 30 pounds of hashish in a pipe leading from a restroom used by prisoners, officials said Monday.

The custodians found the drugs Friday at the Palace of Justice, a building that houses courtrooms and jail cells, in the Spanish enclave of Ceuta on the coast of Morocco.

The drugs were contained in dozens of small bags in a basement pipe leading from the jail cell area, the Interior Ministry office in Ceuta said.

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There’s just something about Missoula, Montana

MISSOULA, Mont. – A man suspected of burglarizing a home was arrested after police found him asleep in the basement. Iam D. Wright was lying on the floor early Thursday next to a black bag filled with items that belonged to the homeowners, including stereo equipment, a backpack and a wallet, police said.

One of the residents had flagged down nearby officers after discovering a man in their basement.

Wright’s eyes were closed and he did not respond to police until he was threatened with a Taser.

He allegedly told police he was drunk and had passed out after a party at the home, but the homeowners said they hadn’t hosted a party.

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Calling all cars

Be on the lookout for an LA Times sports writer…

McMINNVILLE, Ore. (AP) – A man wearing nothing but women’s high heels was the cause of a building lockdown by police in downtown McMinnville. The unidentified man was spotted sitting on a bench on the basement floor of a nearly vacant medical building Wednesday afternoon.After a call to 911 dispatchers, two McMinnville police units responded and were assisted by deputies from the Yamhill County Sheriffs Office and the Oregon State Police. The building was locked down and surrounded, but alas, no naked man.

The man was described as 40 to 50 years old, bald or with short white hair, of thin to medium build.

He was last seen running down one of the building’s hallways in the heels, police said.

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You never know who’s watching you

pee….

Oxenstern and I are hitting the links tomorrow with a friend — this is fair warning, I guess, and rather timely:

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. (AP) – A mother teed off by drunken golfers urinating near her house by the 18th hole resorted to videotaping the men after no action was taken on her complaints. Video of some men relieving themselves behind trees at the city-owned course was played on local and national television news.”Many times I would say, ‘You’re on camera,’ and they’d keep right on going. They’d yell and scream obscenities at me,” Delisa Schubert said.

Schubert, her husband and daughters ages 11 and 15 live next to the Tennessee Centennial Golf Course in Oak Ridge, 20 miles west of Knoxville. She said they family moved there so the girls could improve their golf game.

Schubert has reported the problem to police, city officials, the local district attorney and the golf course manager. They suggested she record the offenders, and in a year she says she has captured more than 40 golfers in the act.

Signs banning public urination are posted on the golf course, and the city is talking to the course operator about the issue, said Josh Collins, director of the city’s recreation and parks department. There are restrooms nearby at the 16th hole and the clubhouse.

Schubert says the underlying problem is too much beer and no restraint.

“When you have no inhibition, you’re just going to go anywhere,” she said.

Seems to me the underlaying problem is a lack of bladder control, but well, whatever.

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