Archive for March, 2007

I just don’t get Soccer

When vegetables are outlawed, only outlaws will have vegetables. Must be an English thing.

Clampdown on celery-throwers leads to bans

LONDON (Reuters) – Chelsea have banned three of their fans after they were caught throwing celery during the team’s FA Cup win at Tottenham Hotspur, the Premier League champions said Tuesday.
Two of them were arrested for throwing celery during the quarter-final replay on March 19, while a third was spotted throwing the vegetable and later identified to the club.

A fourth supporter was banned for a pitch incursion.

“All four people have been banned by the club and three will face court bans depending on the outcome of any criminal proceedings,” the club said on its Web site www.chelseafc.com.

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When you gotta go, you gotta go

Rather clever response to an urgent problem I thought. They were Really Big Beers after all.

Airline Passenger Urinates In Air-Sickness Bag

Flight Crew Wouldn’t Let Passengers Use Restroom

SALT LAKE CITY — SkyWest Airlines apologized to a passenger who said he wasn’t allowed to use the restroom during a one-hour flight and ended up urinating in an air-sickness bag.

James Whipple said he had two “really big beers” at the Boise, Idaho airport. While on a flight to Salt Lake City on March 7, he drank a soft drink. He then wanted to use the cabin restroom. The captain had declared it off-limits during the short flight because a light wasn’t working.


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I’m thinking of retiring in Germany

Now there’s a senior discount.

Finally, something good about being old..

BERLIN (Reuters) – A brothel in Germany hopes to capitalize on the growing number of retirees by offering them a 50 percent discount for sex in the afternoon.

The “Pascha” in the western city of Cologne has introduced reduced rates for sex sessions for clients aged 66 and above — provided they can prove they are old enough.

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Prince Charles in disguise?

Upset because his $2.16 dinner wasn’t very good? Maybe he is the Prince of Wales in disguise.

Police: Cheeseburger Not Paradise For N.H. Customer

HUDSON, N.H. — An order of double cheeseburgers turned into an unhappy meal over the weekend at a Hudson McDonald’s restaurant.

Hudson police said Thomas Lee Reagan, 45, complained about the quality of the two double cheeseburgers he ordered at about 8 p.m. Saturday at the McDonald’s on Derry Road.”Apparently Mr. Reagan was served a hamburger that was not up to his standards. After he complained to the manager regarding the quality of the food, (the restaurant) refunded his money and, apparently, he wasn’t happy with that,” said Sgt. Donna Briggs of the Hudson Police Department.

According to court records, Reagan complained about his food being greasy and was refunded $2.16 but Reagan began yelling obscenities, forcing several patrons with young children to leave.”After initially confronting the store manager, (Reagan) went behind the counter apparently to engage the cook in some verbal confrontation,” Briggs said.

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Embarassment as a diplomat, but I bet he throws a good party

There is such a thing as too much fun after all.

Israel recalls ambassador found naked, drunk

Diplomat found bound, wearing sex toys outside El Salvador residence

JERUSALEM – Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found bound, drunk and naked in the yard of his residence, a spokeswoman said Monday.

Tsuriel Raphael has been removed from his post and the Foreign Ministry has begun searching for a replacement, said spokeswoman Zehavit Ben-Hillel.

Two weeks ago, El Salvador police found Raphael naked outside his residence, tied up, gagged and drunk, Israeli media reported. He was wearing several sex toys at the time, the media said. After he was untied, Raphael told police he was the ambassador of Israel, the reports said.

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