Archive for January, 2007

They will finally have every possible vote in New Jersey, as the state Senate has moved to remove the prohibition on idiots voting from the state constitution.

No word on when they will start work on revoking the prohibition on the dead voting, as well.

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“There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.” Ah, the spectacular power of a tiny mind in action.

Naked, greased student interrupts lunch
Prank ‘went a little farther than he intended,’ police officer says

WESTERVILLE, Ohio – A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said.

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I guess it is not always good to find a lawyer that can empathize with your problems.  No word on whether they went out for a drink after they were both released.

Lawyer charged: arrived intoxicated at Wis. police station to get DWI client

MADISON, Wis. (AP) – Lawyer Rick Petry can really empathize with his client.

Police arrested the lawyer for drunken driving after he went to the station to pick up Patrick DePula – who had been arrested for the same offence.

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Cue the Randy Newman song…

Gnome, gnome on derange.

SYDNEY, Jan 25 (Reuters Life!) – It’s being called the “Gnomesville Massacre” and emergency workers in Western Australia are offering a reward for the capture of vandals who smashed their way through a local tourist attraction.

At least we know that poor fellow from Germany was not the culprit. By the way, I think that headline writer earned some really bad karma for that Gnome, gnome headline.

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The alcoholic hijinks continue.

Drunken captain runs ship aground off Latvia

A second ship in as many weeks has run aground off the western coast of Latvia, but this time the accident was not due to bad weather but because the captain of the ship was drunk.

Four other crew members of the Maltese-flagged cargo ship were also sailing under the influence, a spokeswoman for the Latvian navy said Monday.

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