Archive for December, 2006

I hear Sidney is lovely this time of year

Oh wait, I meant Sydney.  Oops.  I hear he wants to go vist New Zealnd next year and has his trip to Oakland already booked.

A tale of two cities for confused tourist

Fri Dec 29, 8:10 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) – A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in the Australian metropolis Sydney landed 13,000 kilometres away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking Web site.

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5 years for breaking wind?

Seems a bit harsh to me, but apparantly his cellmate considered it cruel and unusual punishment.

Flatulence allegedly sparks jail fight

Wed Dec 27, 2:47 AM ET

NORTH PLATTE, Neb. – Brian Bruggeman caused a stink at the Lincoln County Jail earlier this month and will now have to answer for it in court. Another inmate, Jesse Dorris, alleges that Bruggeman’s flatulence, passed in close proximity to Dorris, sparked a Dec. 14 fight between the two at the jail.

Now Bruggeman, 38, faces a Jan. 11 preliminary hearing on the state’s complaint of assault by a confined person. It’s a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

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Severe head wounds make me hot

“I spent most of the 3 million pounds on hookers, the rest I just wasted.”

Injured man wins damages for sex overdrive

1 hour, 44 minutes ago

LONDON (Reuters) – A devout Christian who said an accident at work boosted his libido and wrecked his marriage as he turned to prostitutes and pornography was awarded more than 3 million pounds ($5.89 million) in damages Tuesday.

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Pretty stupid, even for a crackhead

The mind boggles.

Woman tells cop she bought ‘bad crack’

Mon Dec 18, 11:39 PM ET

HAWTHORNE, Fla. – A North Carolina woman was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn’t very good, authorities said.

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Frosty slashers arrested!

It could be argued that all the bad puns in this article are the real crime.

Cops put 2 on ice after Frosty stabbing

Mon Dec 18, 11:38 PM ET

CINCINNATI – Two Christmas grinches were arrested Monday, accused of stabbing a 12-foot-tall inflatable Frosty the snowman with a screwdriver. The Hamilton County Sheriff’s office said two 18-year-olds were charged with criminal damaging, and the investigation continues to snowball.

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