Archive for November, 2006

The NCAA has lost its tiny mind

Ian Johnson weaing an offending beanie

Sure, it seems like just a wacky hobby to you and I, but the NCAA has its panties in a wad over Boise State football star Ian Johnson selling his hand crocheted beanies for a little pocket money. He can’t even give them away to charity, apparently.

Boise State football’s star running back Ian Johnson is not only a Heisman hopeful but he is skilled in crocheting.

After selling beanies and scarves throughout the football season he has now been told to stop. The National Collegiate Athletic Association has given the order to Johnson to stop selling his beanies and scarves. In fact he can’t even give them away to charity.

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Taking it to those greedy Big Corporate Bastards

Now here’s something I think we can all support — chips and dippers unite! Grab your pitchforks and Doritos, we’re going after Big Guac!

LOS ANGELES — Wholly guacamole?

That’s the issue in a fraud lawsuit filed Wednesday against Kraft Foods, Inc., by a Los Angeles woman who claims the company’s avocado dip doesn’t qualify as guacamole.

“It just didn’t taste avocadoey,” said Brenda Lifsey, who used Kraft Dips Guacamole in a three-layer dip last year. “I looked at the ingredients and found there was almost no avocado in it.”

She is seeking unspecified damages and a Superior Court order barring Kraft from calling its dip guacamole. Her suit seeks class-action status.

I just wish someone would do something about clearly labelling salsa — I don’t want to have to put on my reading glasses to determine if the stuff’s made in New York City, dammit.

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Now I’ve seen everything

This reminds me of going into a restaurant bathroom and noticing that the NO SMOKING sign high up on the wall had braille  lettering…

The government discriminates against blind people by printing money that all looks and feels the same, a federal judge said Tuesday in a ruling that could change the face of American currency.

U.S. District Judge James Robertson ordered the Treasury Department to come up with ways for the blind to tell bills apart. He said he wouldn’t tell officials how to fix the problem, but he ordered them to begin working on it.

There’s no indication whether the judge will next rule that traffic lights will all need to have braille lettering or if MP3 players will be required to have closed-captioning.

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Wash up or I’ll cut ya!

Beware The Bathroom Avenger!  This fellow takes the cleanliness of others entirely too seriously.

US drinker stabbed for not washing hands
Poor restroom hygiene ends in knife fight
By Lester Haines
Published Tuesday 28th November 2006 15:29 GMT

Those men among you who indulge in the woman-enraging provocation of not putting the loo seat back down after taking a leak should count yourselves lucky you’re not in Fort Worth, Texas, where some people take the matter of good toilet habits very seriously indeed.

Just ask 25-year-old Morgan Jackson, who was with two drinking buddies in the car park of the Tumbleweeds Sports Bar last Thursday evening when an infuriated toilet user charged them with a knife “because he apparently grew angry that one of the men didn’t wash his hands in t

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Definitely not a Jew

ATLANTA—(FOX5) Three Atlanta police officers were wounded Tuesday night when they exchanged gunfire with a 92-year-old woman. The woman was killed. Police said she shot the officers as they tried to serve a search warrant.

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