Archive for August, 2006

Piece of cake

BERLIN (Reuters) – Two men broke into a supermarket depot in Germany and left with just a cake, authorities said on Tuesday.”Sometimes people just come up with crazy ideas,” said Hermann Schwichtenberg, a spokesman for police in the northern town of Itzehoe. “Now we’ve seen everything.”

Police arrested the two men, aged 29 and 41, shortly after the late night break-in and recovered the stolen cake. A search of the men’s flat uncovered no more loot.

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Indian Nazi Idiot Update

This just in:

MUMBAI (Reuters) – A restaurant in India’s financial hub has agreed to change its name from “Hitler’s Cross” following strong protests by the country’s tiny Jewish community and pressure from Israel.

Apparently, this retard didn’t have any idea that it might offend someone to have a restaurant glorifying the swastika and the number three mass murderer of the 20th century

“We acknowledge that the name adopted by us for our restaurant was most inappropriate,” Satish Sabhlok, one of the owners of the multi-cuisine restaurant, said in a statement.

“Our intention was not to glorify Hitler or his atrocities or ideology in any way and we regret the anguish caused by the use of this name.”

The owners were yet to decide on a new name, he added.

How about “SEARED HOLY COW FLESH ON A STICK“? Hat-tip to Sorbitol for the suggestion.

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This pump’s the bomb

Be very careful if you have a heavy accent, going through security:

The female airport security guard held the small, black, squeezable rubber object she’d just plucked out of Mardin Amin’s backpack, and eyed it suspiciously.

Standing next to his mother, an embarrassed Amin whispered out of one corner of his mouth that it was a “pump” — as in a penis pump. The guard misunderstood the Iraqi man and thought she heard the word “bomb,” Amin’s attorney told a Cook County judge Wednesday.

“He told her it’s a pump,” attorney Eileen O’Neill-Burke said as a cluster of burly, snickering police officers watched the court proceedings. “He’s standing with his mother. Of course he’s not going to shout this out.”

But after listening to the female guard testify she heard Amin “clearly” say the word bomb during the Aug. 16 incident at O’Hare Airport, Judge Gerald Winiecki decided there was enough evidence for the case to move forward. Amin, 29, is charged with felony disorderly conduct and faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

No word on if he’ll be allowed to bring his little friend to the pen with him.

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WTF is wrong with Granny’s license plates?

I think they should let her keep the plates, but change her obscene last name.

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A Central Ohio grandmother fought for and won the right to keep her personalized license plate after allegations that they were profane.

What does the N stand for?

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Cry for help, or scream of stupid?

JIM THORPE, Pa. — A Pennsylvania man has been sentenced to one to six months in jail for driving under the influence after reportedly showing up in court drunk.Joshua Beury is quoted as telling the judge in the community of Jim Thorpe that he routinely drinks 12 beers a day “and then some.”

The 25-year-old man told the judge he’s on medication for mental health problems, including bipolar disorder. The Morning Call newspaper of Allentown reported that Beury showed up in court with a .20 blood alcohol content — well above the legal limit of .08.

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