Drug warnings : What were they thinking?

I’ve always been amused by the little warning labels they put on the sides of medicine bottles. You know the ones: “Warning: Causes drowsiness — do NOT drink alcohol while taking this medication, as this increases the drowsy effect”. Sort of like, “WARNING: For enhanced fun, take these Oxycontin tabs with a healthy slug of Merlot”.

Today, I have a toothache brought on by, well, a filling that was wrenched from the gaping cavity in one of my teeth through the amazing suck-action of Dentyne this morning.

Aspirin isn’t cutting it.

One of my coworkers had a few painkillers laying about, so she gave me one. I cleverly took it, and then looked it up on the Internet to make sure that my head wasn’t going to fall off due to drug interactions (not that I’m taking anything other than aspirin and the occasional Viagra “gel tab” but I digress).

I loved the warning I found on the manufacturer’s web site:

Do not crush the (drugname) tablet. This medicine is for oral (by mouth) use only. Powder from a crushed tablet should not be inhaled or diluted with liquid and injected into the body. Using this medicine by inhlation or injection can cause life-threatening side effects, overdose, or death.

I think they should rewrite this warning, Ziler-style, and be just a bit more explicit:

WARNING: Do NOT take three of these tablets, crush them into a fine powder, mix with water and inject directly into your neck. That would be bad. Fun, but bad. BAD BAD BAD. Don’t do it. We’re serious. And please, it’s just not gonna do anything if you stick the tablet up your butt. OK?

Where’s the FDA when you need ‘em?

Linked to RUA

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