Archive for April, 2006

Must be new math

I guess it just seems like more people are dying.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The U.S. war on terrorism has made the world safer, the State Department’s counterterrorism chief said on Friday, despite more than 11,000 terrorist attacks worldwide last year that killed 14,600 people.

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Where is the van with the onion dip?

Seems like he will get a few years to work on his dislike of the police though.

KITTANNING, Pa. – A man intentionally drove a delivery van loaded with potato chips through the lobby of a state police barracks early Thursday morning, authorities said.

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Spank me. No spank me!

I could use the 500k.

FRESNO, Calif. – A jury awarded $500,000 Friday to a woman who was spanked in front of her colleagues in what her employer called a camaraderie-building exercise.

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It’s official: California is retarded

That’s it. I’m going to personally go out and buy at least $50 bucks worth of gasoline, a new pair of work shoes, a suit, my wife a new set of duds, a car for my 16-year old daughter, and around 3 dozen Taco Supremes next Monday.

(AP) SACRAMENTO California’s state senators on Thursday endorsed Monday’s boycott of schools, jobs and stores by illegal immigrants and their allies as supporters equated the protest with great social movements in American history.

By a 24-13 vote that split along party lines, the California Senate approved a resolution that calls the one-day protest the Great American Boycott 2006 and describes it as an attempt to educate Americans “about the tremendous contribution immigrants make on a daily basis to our society and economy.”‘

You need to do your part, too. We’re ALL immigrants to this country, one generation or another. What the California Senate is saying is — without ILLEGAL immigrants, our economy would sink. This is the rankest form of stinking bullshit I think I’ve ever seen. Are you going to let them get away with it?

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Oh good, he didn’t steal the chocolate

Remember to plan your escape route before you run off with the stolen booze.

ROME – A Polish shoplifter took a very wrong turn — toward Rome’s police headquarters — while fleeing a supermarket with two stolen bottles of alcohol.

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