TINY MINDS

We have double-digit unemployment, state deficits are at record levels, scandal and corruption plague our government, and we’re at war across the world.  I have an idea, let’s tell chefs they can’t put salt in restaurant food. Yeah, that’s what the people want our legislatures working on.

NEW YORK, March 11 (UPI) — A New York state assemblyman says restaurants throughout the state should not be allowed to use salt in the preparation of food.

This dude needs to get off the adderall and back on the downers. In this little diatribe, he is arguing to bring our troops home NOW, but he gets a little side-tracked by the media, and the Vietnam war — claiming that he heard things during that war very similar to this current war. Of course, he forgets that he was born in 1967, so the whole thing was over by the time he was eight. Sure, he has that great of a memory for things he heard, even after hundreds of gallons of hootch and cases of pills. Uh huh.

OK, this one is really strange — but I have a feeling alcohol was involved:

Here’s one for the bizarro file. A man purchased a scratch ticket onboard a Ryanair flight. Yes, Ryanair sells scratch tickets onboard—are you really that surprised? The passenger scratched the ticket and lo and behold, it was a winner! €10,000, or roughly $13,600!

At this point, the story is already strange enough. Who buys a scratch ticket, let alone a winning one, on an airplane? Heck, it’s pretty odd that an airline even sells scratch tickets. But what happened next truly baffles the mind: the man ate the ticket.

According to the BBC, the passenger, whose name has not been released, demanded that the winnings be paid immediately. This, of course, is completely absurd, as no airline would stash a spare €10,000 on its planes, and no crewmember is going to write a check.

Read more here…

From our Manila folder: Filipino karaoke singers risk death by singing Sinatra or John Denver tunes. You’d think “American Pie” would at least merit some waterboarding.

I have an idea. Let’s go do some graffiti in broad daylight. Even better, let’s do it to a building where a group of police officers are taking a class on how to conduct foot pursuits.

Over 100 sheriff’s deputies and police officers were attending a law enforcement training class when they saw a 22-year old man quickly etch the glass door that leads directly into a City of Commerce meeting room.  As Vasquez began to open the door to etch the inside, he looked shocked to see dozens of deputies and officers running directly towards him.  He turned and ran down the sidewalk as at least 40 deputies and officers crammed through the doorway at the City of Commerce Aquatic Center to go after him.

A bit dim, says I.